blank'/> A LITTLE BIT OF LACQUER: Being a (Physician) Working Mom

December 20, 2016

Being a (Physician) Working Mom

One of the things I get asked most often is how I can handle being a mom and physician. It's a question I appreciate (and largely part of the reason I started this blog way back in the second year of medical school - to show that doctors and doctors in training could actually have lives), but sometimes it gets a little frustrating. Why? Because sometimes I feel like all that I do to show you you can still have a life (I'm a firm believer in actions speaking louder than words) still doesn't seem to convince you lol! I still get dozens of emails daily wondering if medicine is worth it because it's been so deeply ingrained in our beliefs that being a doctor and doing anything else are just incompatible. 


Yes being a doctor (and probably more, training to be a doctor) is hard. But guess what, so is being a lawyer, and so is going into business, and so is working in a restaurant - all of these jobs have things that make them uniquely difficult, medicine usually just gets glorified as being particularly brutal. And it certainly can be if you decide to become a neurosurgeon. But there are many fields in medicine that are much more accommodating to a "normal" life, even surgical fields, and the key is to have the foresight to see how that could work in the future. Medical school and residency don't allow for much autonomy, especially when it comes to your own time, but after that you decide what you want your practice to look like (granted, even practicing physicians nowadays feel like they have less and less autonomy thanks to insurance, etc, but that's another story).

All this to say, though, that being a mom and a doctor is just like any other type of working mom. Is it hard? Well, hell yeah. But when I'm chatting with our department secretary who's got 2 kids or my attending who's got 2 kids, or the cashier at the cafeteria who's got 2 kids, guess what? They all say it's hard! Being a mom in general is hard, and adding on the responsibilities of working outside the home (or from home) is hard for all mamas! Now, it's all about perspective, and I don't think I'd ever stop working - I absolutely love what I do and I love adult time using my brain to help people, so for me it doesn't feel hard everyday, but just know that if you ask the question of any working mom, she's going to say it's hard. So to decide not to pursue medicine because you want to have a family in the future is just plain silly (unless by having a family you mean you want to be a stay-at-home mom). But if you plan on working in any job and having children, medicine can still be one of those choices. 


Phew! With that out of the way, here are just a few things that I've learned along the way thus far, just over 3 years, almost 3 kids, and an MD degree later. 

Accept feeling guilty. And then get over it! As a working mom you pretty much have the chance to always feel guilty. You feel like you're either not giving enough at work, or not giving enough at home, or somehow skimped on something or another to make everything work. Once I realized that I could literally always feel like that I sort of just ignored it. We're working our butts off mamas, and you shouldn't feel guilty about all the hats you're wearing!




Now with that said, there are times (pretty much all the time) that you'll have to prioritize and make seemingly tough decisions. One thing I'll mention is getting good at saying no (hopefully you guys caught this post). The other thing, once you've prioritized your tasks, is becoming as efficient as possible. This means figuring out how to do things so that they are done well, but quickly. It means figuring out what will give you the most bang for your buck at work (and at home). For me, it means learning patient interactions and being a rockstar with them got me the farthest, and while my clinical notes are incredibly important for continuing care and billing purposes, I could automate them in such a way that I spent much less time at the computer and more making my patients feel like they were getting fantastic care from the doctor. It means at home I know my daughter might enjoy 2 hours of me trying to do some elaborate pinterest-inspired art project, but she really loves doing our nails together, and that 20 minutes of time is so much more special to her than 2 hours doing something else. Figure out where you get the most bang for your buck. 


Outfit details: tee shirt  //  sweats  //  sneakers

Another key lesson I learned is you don't need to be there every second of your kids' life for them to know they're loved. I partly learned this lesson as I grew up - my mom always worked outside of the home (she was a nurse), and we'd go to school and then my grandfather would pick us up and we'd go to our grandparents house after-school until my mom got out of work. I never felt like my mom didn't raise me, or that I somehow developed less of a relationship with her. If anything I appreciated our situation more because I developed such a strong relationship with my grandparents. Kids have an amazing capacity to love, and you better believe they will love you. They of course will go through phases - there are random weeks where one seems to want daddy more or times when they seem to prefer grammy - don't take those times personal, it really isn't. When they get hurt or they're particularly tired they run to mom! And it's even sweeter when they're a little older and you catch them talking about you - Liv is always saying the cutest things about me and it just melts my heart (I'm sure this will change when she's actually older and I catch her talking about me haha, but we'll soak this up for now)! As long as you put in the effort when you are home and are doing your best and have a village that also loves them, your kids will be just fine. Read more here about how I found my village. 

Another huge help is simply always being prepared (which is much easier said than done)! For me this means my work bag always has a few diapers in it and kids snacks, my diaper bag has vials of lidocaine (all of my bags have vials of lidocaine lol), and I'm hopefully wearing shoes that can take me from surgery to running around the playground with no problem. I've lately been wearing these Nursemates Lacey sneakers nonstop - both in clinic and on my downtime! Love that they go with everything! 


There's way more I could say about this but I've got to get ready for work (I woke up at 4:45 to type this!), including picking the right partner which is just about the most important part of the whole thing, but we'll save that for another time! Cheers (with my coffee mug)! PS - I posted a Youtube video not too long ago about perspective that ties in a bit with this as well, and I also love this youtube video on being a working mom - I tear up every time!


PS - if you enjoyed this post and want more like it, I think you'd love my E-course! It's all about balancing it all, and still finding happiness and joy even on the days we can't (because let's face it, some days are just sh** shows)! Enrollment is open for good and I'd love to see you there!

48 comments:

  1. In your "day in the life" post you got 6 hours of sleep - despite saying that you show us how your balance everything in your daily posts, this doesn't sound balanced, especially given that you are pregnant!
    I don't mean this as a negative against you - I am rooting for you, and I am also a woman in medicine (but still childless because of my concerns for striking a balance). I think you are also incredibly fortunate to have live in family that can help you which isn't an option for all of us. I think this simplifies the overall problem of woman in all fields, but particularly medicine, getting the support they need to have and raise children.

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    1. Appreciate your comment, and certainly didn't feel like it was negative! But I will say that reading it, I immediately knew you didn't have any kids without you having to say it. There is almost no mom with young kids who is regularly getting more than 6 hours of sleep - some nights I get lucky, but this is pretty average! Hope you read my post on childcare, because our live-in help didn't come until Liv was 2, and even now we still have her in pre-school. Anyway, the point of my post is to say choosing to be a working mom is hard, but there isn't a huge difference between the jobs you choose to have, so no reason to nix medicine prematurely. You still being childless out of concern to strike balance would likely have been an issue for you regardless of what field you chose to pursue.

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    2. @anon no mother gets more than 6 hours 😂 No matter how long you wait to have them

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  2. Hi Laura... Thanks for this post! I am a M1 and I have one child. I am currently planning my second pregnancy now. I am considering taking a gap year between M2& M3 year to have a baby. I am a bit concerned about being pregnant during 3rd year because I want to impress and get good LORS. My first pregnancy I didn't have morning sickness, I had all day sickness! I know every pregnancy is different but it's a possibility that my next pregnancy could be similar. With your first pregnancy were you on rotations? If so how was that experience? Is it common for people to take a gap year between M2& M3? Thanks for this post! I love your blog and I've been following you for years now! I too want three kids so I am so inspired by you... to see that you are doing it all. Keep it up mama! You're inspiring and pushing so many women to follow their dreams AND have the family they want too! ������

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    1. I'd say most people who can "plan" it best (after all it rarely goes to plan lol) choose to take the gap year between M3 and M4 (that's what I did) - check out my post on med school timeline where I speak a bit more about that! With my first I was at the end of MS3 but I had only "easy" rotations left. For the most part lol.

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  3. It was so nice to wake up and read your blog! I especially enjoyed your gratitude video and the video about the mom returning to work for her performance review. Thanks for making this an inspiring place for moms who are growing careers and little families! ❤️ Hope your family has a great Christmas! - Katie

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  4. I'm a chemist, work a 9-5, mom to a 5-year-old, and 6 hours of sleep is the norm! And if happen to get 7 or more it's a blessing! So I agree, no matter the profession, when you become a mom your schedule is unpredictable and no matter the age, you're not getting a full 8 hours every night. Between packing lunches, getting ready for the next day, homework, and quality time with your kids and partner, the evenings are hectic! Laura, I love your posts and appreciate you sharing your thoughts on being a working mom :)

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  5. Why do you want another baby? Isn't two enough? Didn't you have a hard time getting enough maternity leave without second baby? Why would you want Togo through that type of hassle again? My friend works at a tech company and she got 4 months off for maternity leave. I hope you get at least 4 months off (but you deserve to take even more off). Sorry if this comment is all over the place I just hope that you don't get too overwhelmed with three kiddies ❤️

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    1. yeah I'd say your comment is not just all over the place, it's pretty darn offensive, but I'm sure you didn't mean it that way. I'm very happy with my kids and would love a big family - I'd never call them a hassle. Maternity leave is just fine, I'm only taking a month off but that's fine - I have a light schedule afterwards. People choose family sizes for different reasons, hope you're happy with whatever family size you choose to have, and that no one rudely asks why you would want another baby if you ever end up having any.

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  6. Do your daughters know that they have awesome doctors for parents?!?

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  7. What inspired you to go into medicine? Are you related to a lot of doctors?

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    1. Check out the FAQ of my blog where I answer that question :) I'm the first and only doctor in my family.

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  8. Thank you for posting this. I am a non trad student with two kids 5 & 1. My husband is also active duty military and I always wonder if my dream of becoming a physician is realistic. Would you mind sharing your typical work schedule? I know it varies by person and specialty, just out of curiosity. Always inspiring to see another Latina mom doing her thing!

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    1. Just check out any of my "day in the life" posts - I've been doing them since medical school! You can use the search tool on the left!

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  9. Laura,

    I have read your blog for awhile and as a fellow mother in medicine I do feel that this post over simplifies the real struggles with being a doctor mom. I had a baby in residency and the long hours of wards months are hard on anyone but eapeicially on mothers. In other fields women have options to reduce their schedule but often as you have mentioned many times in residency we don't have a lot of choice as we have requirements to work night shifts or my 28 hour shifts I did while nursing/pumping. Not many other professions require this.
    I applaud you on trying to put forth a positive image but I think medicine has a long ways to go in respecting women's choices. You being ok with only 4 weeks of maternity is not the same for everyone. I wasn't ready after 13 weeks and I had to make that time up due to acgme regulations. I don't think that's fair and it should change.
    Balance and efficiency is great but I would still say that being a physician mom no matter what field is very hard and this post sorta bothers me because it seem like a cake walk. I disagree and regularly wonder if I made the right decision.
    Best of luck-
    Md mom in Washington

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    1. This post by no means it meant to make it look like a cake walk - I'm pretty sure I say multiple times that it's hard. And anyone who has followed the blog has seen posts on what our days look like and challenges unique to medicine. But like I said, foresight is requested because after residency we have more control over our schedules. And while I agree 4 weeks isn't ok for everyone, we should remember what it's like being on the other side and picking up extra shifts and calls when a resident is out for a length of time - it's hard on everyone, so I can't forget my team mentality and at the end of the day we made the choice to have a baby during residency. I'm not quite sure how much better we can make it. What I wish you could see for yourself though is that motherhood in general is hard and most working moms at some point or other are wondering if they made the right decision - the more you speak to women in different fields the more you'll see this, and THAT is the point of this post. Yes medicine is unique during training, but other fields are unique too (I have military mom friends, moms who work in television broadcasting, etc). It's hard, but hopefully you can move past the negatives and enjoy it.

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    2. Hey I found your Insta page last week and I was wondering what kind of camera and filters you use on your pictures? The quality is really nice.

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  10. Your snaps from yesterday were so cute! It made my day ��

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  11. This post is really inspiring. I'm in my second year of law school and I've been thinking about whether or not I can handle a child.... This post makes it seem doable. Thanks for showing and promoting positivity in every aspect of your life. People that gave a positive outlook on life are great.

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  12. With all due respect, don't you think you are wearing yourself too thin because those children deserve parents that give them the attention they need? You say your husband works all the time, you work all the time, yet you still keep having kids. I'm sure your kids deserve more time with their parents than what either of you give them. Also, I find it ironic that you only post things that you emphasize you have an "MD from Harvard:. Kudos to you. You have said that a million times in most of your posts. I am a chemical engineer, I work 70+ hours a week, and also have a child. My husband is a chiropractor. I don't hire a nanny because my baby deserves to have that attention from us, so we coordinated our schedules as such. I just feel you brag ENTIRELY too much on here. You cannot really question our intelligence because you have a "HARVARD MD" by saying everything is all peaches and cream all the time. It HAS to be difficult at times, not only in your marriage, but raising the kids you are bringing into this world (predominantly raised by a nanny). Then you want to say you'd like to inspire people, yet you charge for an "e-course". You of all people should know that college students, M1's and L1's for example, don't have a lot of money and are struggling to pay for their books. I just find that you contradict yourself entirely too much on here and I believe if you really wanted to help and inspire people, focus your attention on those that are struggling to get through college as well. You will always find someone with one size shoe bigger than yours, so don't think your "HARVARD MD DEGREE" is more important than anyone out there in college.

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    1. First of all, Laura doesn't brag about being a Harvard graduate. That's just what she is and she most likely includes it in her bio just so people who are new to her page to blog know what she does and where she got her education from. Also, if you've read the vast majority of her posts you'd know that she barely ever mentions Harvard at all. Additionally, she can have as many kids as she wants and that's really no ones business but her and her husbands not her followers and she doesn't have a nanny. Her mother in law watches Elli when she and her hubby are at work and Liv is in preschool then when she gets off from work she picks Liv up from preschool. She most likely cooks dinner and spends all of her free time with her kids. Her kids are well taken care of. In addition, she charged for her e-course because she offered really valuable advice for how to achieve the life that you want to live. If you were in it then you would have know that. Besides, her e-course took a lot of her time and energy therefore she has a right to charge a fee for people who want to join. Also, she's a big role model for young girls and women (especially Latina and black women) because of how much she's achieved and where she is in life right now. It makes it seem possible for us to do it too when we see someone like Laura succeeding in every aspect of life. Also, why would she want to focus on her struggles? Nobody wants to her anyone complaining all the time. Laura is positive, she promotes positivity and having a positive outlook on life. She doesn't like negativity. Anyways, you're a jerk and you can kindly get tf off her blog. You suck. Laura is amazing.

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    2. I second anonymous 4:35PM that defended Laura. Anonymous 2:27PM,props to you and your husband for being amazing parents. I do truly believe that you're trying to come from a good place in your heart with your comment, rather than trying to hate on Laura, but you have quite a few facts wrong about Laura e.g. she doesn't hire a nanny. I want to comment here because, again, while I admire your effort to do the best for your child, I want you to know that not every parent can do that as much as they would love to. My mother and father would love to be able to coordinate their schedules but that is impossible.

      Here are my main points that I hope to tell you:
      - Kids can be loved and become successful even if people other than their parents contribute to raising them, whether these people are grandparents or nannies. In fact, I believe that the more positive role models in a kid's life, the better!
      - Time is not equal to attention.
      - The amount of time a kid spends with his or her parents is not a pre-destined requirement to fulfill. It's going to be different for every family's situation and for every kid. It's absolutely fantastic to spend time with parents but it's not lesser to spend time with your grandparents or nanny.

      I was raised by my parents, my grandparents and nannies. I was raised by a nanny for some years when I was younger and I'm SO grateful that I had a nanny! Why? Because having a nanny meant that I became fluent in another language. Why? Because my nanny was a positive role model in my life in ADDITION to my parents, my grandparents and other family members. In later years of my childhood, my grandparents were the ones that I came home to and I'm grateful that the fact that my parents had to work allowed me to spend time with my grandparents. I would not go back in time and trade that time for time with my mother or father. I love my parents, but time with someone other than my parents is special as well. Time with mom and dad is not superior to time with all other people.

      Time is not equal to attention. I agree that my parents didn't spend as much as time as you and your husband can. While the time count is not the same, I think a lot of working parents who can't always be the primary caretakers of their children would agree that they love their children just as much as parents who can be. I'm not saying that either is better than other. I'm just saying that parents whose parents who can't make their schedules work (for some jobs, such as parents, this is seriously impossible, especially because they work the same job so the hours have to be the same) are parents who love their children just as much.

      I didn't mean to make this comment so long because I do care about because when I was a child, my mother was insulted by her part-time co-workers for being a full-time worker and a mom because they said that my sibling and I would grow up to failures. That is not something we should allow to be acceptable, especially among working moms. Given the struggle that already is mommy guilt, should working moms support each other instead?

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    3. Laura, is the sweetest and most dedicated woman.
      1. do you wonder how much hard work she and her husband had to put in to get into and through harvard? that in itself is a lot. So if I were her I'd be flaunting it and I'd be extremely proud of myself, which she isn't even doing.
      2. do more research before you comment on a post with assumptions. a book i'd recommend you read is the four agreements by miguel ruiz. one of the agreements is don't make assumptions, which you clearly did, and that assumption was incorrect.
      3. I was raised by a mother who drove 2 hours to and from her job, as an MD and a father with a phd and I am on my way to success, in college getting my bachelors and I know i'm going to at least get a masters. so maybe they're "lack" of being in my life was present, but i saw ALL of the hard work and segregation barriers they had to overcome to get to where they are. and i use their hard work as a model for what i want to accomplish.

      please, do not judge people. i understand we're all guilty of it, but to better understand people, we must speak to them. i messaged laura for advice, and she had such a kind response. if you had seen my reaction when i saw that she was responding, you'd think i was a kid in a candy shop. i admire this woman so so much, as well as my hard working mother.
      so please take the time out, to at least realize that she's none of the ill words you called her, but a superwoman who knows what she's doing.

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    4. I agree with the initial person's point about the e-course. I've followed laura for a while and though I appreciate the idea of the e-course I was really surprised that she would charge $150 for it. I don't doubt it took a lot of time to develop concepts, etc, and you're a working mother but even herself is constantly talking about being on a budget and not spending a lot on things. Which is why i was surprised that she would charge that knowing her followers are not all financially stable where they can afford the e-course, but still may benefit from what she has to say. There are SO many other mentors who make videos, blogs and give advice freely. I wonder how she determined that price.

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    5. You're a new mom who works 70+ hours a week but you have time to be a hater huh? #somethingsfishy

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    6. You know what, with all due disrespect i genuinley want to know how you were raised. My mother came to this country, got married and had my brother and i all while working grueling factory jobs with probably 45+ hours a week away from her children. I grew up in daycare. Im not ashamed and neither do i resent my mother for working and missing out on my brothers or my own childhood. I grew up and became the strong independent woman and nothing from my childhood affected me. Heres the thing about 1st generation post-immigrant families though, the pressure to become something after everything that your parents have gone through to put a roof over your head, feed you, clothe you, educate you, and countless other things you forget their sacrifices. I grew up and graduated at the top of my class at UC Berkeley and was in the top 5% of my class at Stanford Law. I made it work pretty well without my mother and father working 9-5 jobs and being free on the weekends. Im pretty sure if my mother didnt come home at all hours of the night i wouldnt have accomplished anything. I pushed myslef to work harder so that i could give my parents the chance to sit at home and not worry about bills or mortgage payments.
      Oh and I do very enthusiastically express my love for my multiple degrees and schools I went to because I worked extremely hard to get into those schools and my children should know that Accomplished something.

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    7. Girl bye. Laura should proud of her degree from Harvard, a TOP TEN school. In no way does she brag about it, or make herself look better than anybody else. Even if she did, in the slightest way, brag...bragging RIGHTS. Secondly. Her blogs talk about sacrifice and the struggles her and her husband goes through on a daily basis ALONG with the numerous amounts of events and posts she spends with her children on a daily basis. Her struggle is different but in no way making it any worse for her children than someone who needs to put their kids in after school care, or have neighbors or friends watch them, or anything else. Let me correct that. no situation is bad because we are all making better lives for our families, she is sharing her own story so that people in similar circumstances can benefit from ways to have it all. Before you post, look at the blogs, the IG and snapchat which is filled with her family and children that love her. Oh, and if you don't want to pay for her e-course..then don't.

      Laura, you have done a phenomenal job, and people are following you just for the pure sense of positively that comes through your photos. Don't stop for the haters!

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  13. HI Laura. Thanks for such a honest post! I'm a new mom myself, my husband and I are both computer engineers, and we recently moved to another city. I totally agree that it doesn't matter what the field, motherhood (and parenthood) is challenging. With the move, settling in, and the new baby, we still are trying to find our new normal. While I was so blessed to get 3 months of maternity leave, it's without pay. So while it's a time I'm so incredibly blessed to have, it has been financially constricting. I wanted to ask you - what sorts of things did you do in your everyday life to make the newborn stages of the baby run more smoothly? I'm also exclusively pumping now as I prepare work again in January. Secondly - did you have to stop pumping to get pregnant this time around? Or were you able to get pregnant while pumping? Just curious as we're also trying to have a second soon-ish so both kids can be close in age and grow up together.

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  14. As someone who wants to maybe someday become a neurosurgeon ☺ ... is that not a wise decision if I want to have a family ?? I have been told that many of times ��. That I am never going to have a life .. that no surgeon does for that matter.

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  15. Coming back to her blog to address your comments (I'm Anonymous @ 2:27 p.m.). First of all, I did not mean to shame Laura; rather, I'm providing my commentary just like the rest of you. I understand why people thought I was being harsh. However, I do stand by my input and I will clarify why. Each and every single one of you has the ability to do what Laura is doing. You chose not to which is perfectly fine. The reason why Laura gets put on a pedestal is because she's promoting herself and doing a very good job at it. The strategically placed coffee mugs, laptop, pictures of shoes....come on now. Who really sits down at their laptop with a cup of coffee, stethoscope strategically placed, books and bags stacked neatly - those who want people to think they have the best life, they have no problems, and want to be like them to make it look easy. All of you want to say that she gives great advice on bargains and whatnot - seriously? How hard is it to find bargains with all the resources on the internet? She gets sponsored by a lot of companies who pay her. Marketing. That's fine and dandy. On to the kid issues that have you in an uproar - My husband I decided to wait until we both graduated to have kids because it was NOT FAIR to the baby if we were selfish because I'm working astronomical hours at my job and my husband was in residency. Sometimes residency is 24 hours long. We had to make that decision collectively, and it was a hard one. He opened his own business and I work for an international engineering firm on purpose so we can delegate who does what when the other parent isn't around and ensure our baby is predominantly raised by us. Nothing wrong with babysitters or grandparents, but being a physician is incredibly time consuming, sometimes so much that you become so engulfed trying to make it to the top that you forget the most important things in life. Let me give you all the benefit of the doubt and say Laura does not have a nanny. She lives in Florida, is a dermatologist, and her husband is also a physician. She is in her mid/late 20's and on her third child. I'm not saying she's a bad parent; I'm saying I believe those kids deserve more time with their parents, who I'm sure would love to spend that time with them. Kids grow up so fast and relish in that glory while you have the opportunity. If you need all this time to start up your career, do so, but not to the kids' detriment. Food for thought, if you really want to give people advice, just please be realistic.

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    1. Honestly you sound really bitter. Why shame someone else because they didn't make the same choices you made. YOU decided you couldn't work your job and have a baby and YOU decided that you couldn't make it work and balance them ; doesn't mean other people can't do it. Maybe you're just bitter because she's an example of what you thought you couldn't do... who knows. She didn't want to wait and thats her business. She has a support system that enables her to be both a career woman and a mom and she takes full advantage of that; which is what so many people on her blog love about her and it's the number 1 reason why I follow her. It is very possible to make things work and to have it "all". Nothing in life is easy and nothing is peachy, shit gets hard and everyone knows that. Laura always reminds us of that also. She's here to be an inspiration so why would she post negativity. The main idea of her blog is to inspire and thats exactly what she does. The "strategically placed coffee mugs, etc" is more about aesthetics than anything. If you made a blog would you just post ugly messy things? and so what about her being sponsored and her marketing strategies. She found something she loved and found a cool way to make money with it while inspiring others. It's called being smart. She invested in herself and her inspiration doesn't cost me a dollar. Other than her e-course everything else is free and she gives us a lot! I follow her blog, instagram and snapchat. I love going on her page and knowing that I can do it too and that it is possible to "do it all". You also complained about her Harvard MD. No, she does not flaunt it. She actually barely mentions it. The only time it comes up is if she's talking about school. But why not be proud of her school. How many people do you know have a Harvard MD? That's something to be very proud of. So YES Laura own that degree and talk about it as much as you want. This entire blog should be all about women empowerment and how we can all be super hard working woman, raise families and just be amazing at life and your "non-shameful" comments just dimmed that light. Go rain on someone else's parade honey but not here.

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    2. Girl this a BLOG! You are supposed to arrange photos so that they won't look messy 😂😂😂. I wish women would stop telling other women what to do . You are clearly not happy with your life so you want to come for another woman who is raising her family perfectly fine WITHOUT a nanny. Go spend time with your kids since you work 70 hours. And who are you to tell someone what their kids do and don't deserve...you're not making yourself look like a good mother right now spreading negativity . I hope you're more positive around them and don't hate on them when they start doing and or the amount of grandchildren they have ...lastly...reading is fundamental (you clearly don't read the blog 😂) and you misused the word irony in your last post

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    3. I also think it's very unfair to tell her to wait because both her and her husband are in residency. I am a physician and have many friends who waited, and now are having trouble getting pregnant because they are in their mid 30s. It's easy to criticize others from the outside looking in, you never know what unique circumstances they are in until you are in their shoes. I think Laura is inspirational maybe her life isn't all perfect and she only shows us the better parts so what? I think part of being happy is focusing on the good parts of your day/life. If I want to read about being tired and stressed out and overwhelmed, I have enough of that in my day to day work life.

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  16. I don't disagree with your comment anonymous but considering that everything is relative your criticism is harsh. As a mom of two from across different world views I can tell you that what it takes to raise well adjusted confident children who feel loved is vast and varied. There is no formula. So if you want to play it safe and be with your kids a lot that's fine but it's the same freedom Laura is exercising with the way SHE raises her children. You cannot control the outcome of your children because there are too many variables so if you think your child or children will turn out better or feel more loved because you were around them more you could be in for a rude awakening. That being said I do think it is ALWAYS sad for young children to be without their mothers whether they let on or not and I think Laura picks up on that with the guilt she says she feels. All she can do though is the best she can. Her painting this perfect life I agree with you because yes it does come off perfect thoufh she is also perfectly self-deprecating and so likeable. All in all why are you so triggered by her or her post? And ps no matter what you want to say 70+ hours isn't doing much better in the spending time with kids department. Your children are still suffering. They will still be angry at you when they are adults. Life is suffering (though beautiful). And can we please stop commenting on how many kids a woman chooses to have! As long as she can financially support them and she's not abusing them why do you care??? Happy holidays!

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  17. Laura, you are doing so great! Your post is open and honest and talks about the difficulties you faced in medicine (since this is a medicine directed blog) while acknowledging that being a working mom is difficult regardless of your profession. The negative poster today must be harnessing some negative energy that was unfortunately released in this comment section- you acknowledge the difficulties in raising children with working parents, you express gratitude towards the help you need to keep the show running, and you don't place any guilt or blame or criticize people who are doing things differently than yourself. People are introducing themselves into conversations that are only between you and your husband/pediatrician/ gynecologist. As a pediatrician and daughter of two working parents, I can tell you something you already know- your children will love you and thank you for your sacrifice and will look up to you and your husband as models for what they want to become. As a woman, I say this to you and everyone who may read it- we need to continue to build each other up and be supportive of one another. If we are to continue entering STEM occupations or becoming CEOs or excelling at our jobs or leading households or YOU NAME IT, we need to. We will have enough people telling us that what we are doing is wrong or different that we don't need to hear it from each other. Happiest of holidays to you and your family. PS: Be effing proud of your MD, you deserve it.

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  18. Can we say Amen to the fact this woman doesn't have multiple fathers for her kids and she is married?!?

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    1. I don't think you meant it like this, but tread carefully. With that comment, you're setting a really low bar for our young women today.

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  20. Hi Laura,

    I am not in medicine (I work at a tech startup) but enjoy reading your blog! Interested to get your thoughts on sleep. Everyone is different in the amount of sleep they need to function, but most doctors I've been to recommend 7-8 hours to avoid impaired cognitive functioning. I've also heard that pregnant women may need a little more sleep.

    You are always clear that getting more than 6 is hard as a parent, but does getting 6 hours of sleep (or less) a night impact you in noticeable ways, especially while you are pregnant? Do you worry about the long term effects of not getting enough sleep, especially since you may be more aware of the implications from a medical perspective? Or is the 8 hours of sleep thing overhyped and not really necessary? :)

    I ask because I think this is going to be one of the biggest things I struggle with when I choose to have kids. I am one of those people who is just a better person (more efficient, pleasant to be around, healthier, etc.) when I get 8 hours. I don't want to be a bad parent because I am not sleeping!

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  21. I've met Laura in person at her "garage sale" type thing at a nice place in Boston. For the person that thinks she is overly optimistic and putting on a false impression. You are wrong. I can't say I know her but from when I met her- she is a very special person that is kind and sweet and helpful and very very down to earth. She gave me a hug and agreed to pictures and encouraged me with my medical journey. Not to be cheesy but she does have a peaceful spirit around her that not many have. But she makes the sacrifices she has to to make the life she wants and I think she's doing a BEYOND AMAZING job at it! Most definitely praying for you @anonymous to see where the fault is in your words and that you can find happiness and fullfillment in your life as well! ❤

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  24. Hi Laura, where is Ellie's carseat mirror from?

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